my place in the sun.

May 12, 2008 - Monday

My Place in the Sun. Current mood: inspired A lot of my blogs have been depressing, this is because I was depressed. Go figure, huh? Well I can honestly say that right now in my life I have made room for the person who matters most to me, the person who has stayed by my side through everything and the one who will be with me until i die: Me. I never allowed myself the time to become the person I've always wanted to be. But I'm doing it now. No, I don't have a boyfriend. No, I don't want one. And yes, I am happy. I've been organizing my house, getting rid of excess junk that i've held on to for years and am ready to start living MY LIFE. Not just "Get by". Im living. REALLY LIVING!!!! I was heartbroken, it was hard. But it opened the door to me to see myself in a light that nobody else could have ever shown me. For that I am grateful. I really am happy that he found the one he deserves. They are actually really cute together and I'm OK with it now. He wasn't for me, how could I have known? I didnt know myself and I didnt know what I wanted. And now Im just super happy to be myself, even if it DOES get lonely. I always have my kids, the ones that matter to me most. They are my light, my beacon of hope. And they are pretty friggen hilarious too!!!! Partying? Im done. Living? I'm ready. Bring on the rain. :)