dearest you.

dearest you.
Current mood: sad

i just wanted to let you know that we are fine. the kids ask about you everyday. jordan wants to know where dan is. luckily, his father is already a constant absence in his life, so you being gone is normal to him. It doesn't mean it doesn't hurt him. I thought he would have forgotten you, like I wish I could. But I had taken my three year old's intelligence for granted because he does remmember you. And miss you. Just like I do. Just like April does. Not a day goes by where she doesn't ask where Dan went. You didn't just walk out on me, you walked out on my family. You affected us with your abandonment. I can't believe you turned out to be the guy that doesn't even call to see how the kids are. Is it because she won't let you? i wish things were different. I wish I didn't love you so much. It hurts everyday. Even on the days where I feel like I'm finally starting to get a handle on my own life, move on, not feel this pain anymore, I still miss you. I love my new boyfriend, he is amazing, but he is still just someone that is second best. I will never find love like you ever again. And that's ok. Better to have loved and lost, i suppose. But I just want you to know, that we are ok. Even though you left us, hurt us, and still to this day, a year and a half later when I thought we'd be married by now, I am still crying over you.

Have a great life.